I suppose this is the obligatory “I’m exhausted” mommy blog post.  Well I am.  Punkie has a virus, we believe, from day care . . . again.  This one gives him a high fever and some nasal congestion.  The fever keeps coming back and I’ve been waking up at night to give Punkie some medication to keep the temp down.  And now I’m exhausted. I’m basically a lawyerly zombie today.

Boromire meme redactedOne does not simply walk into Mordor . . . I mean, the nursery, and give medication.  You need to cajole and beg the baby to go back to sleep afterward.  This is the crux of the issue here.  Last night, he took his medication and then decided he didn’t want to be alone in his crib.  Every time I laid him down, he kicked and yelled and cried.  If I picked him up, he was asleep in one minute . . . until I laid him down, in which case he was immediately awake again.  Eventually, I brought him to bed with us and he fell asleep, but not until we had lost two hours of sleep.

Can I remind you that I’m 40 and losing two hours of sleep slays me?  Or, maybe it “undeads” me, and I’ve been undead since Friday.  When I was in my 20’s, I could stay up all night and still function.  Now, in my 40’s, all I can say is BRAINS.


George Costanza Nap

I am day dreaming about curling up under my desk and taking a George Costanza nap.

I’m not all that tired.  Punkie has been sleeping well.  We were forced to resort to “sleep training,” which sounds ridiculous to me and I suppose that’s a whole other post, but I think he is on the right path now.

I am stressed out.  So many things are weighing on me today, and I don’t have time for distractions.  I have 100 things to do before the end of the work day and I have my annual performance review this afternoon.  For me, stress is a parasite – it sucks the energy from me.  Stress makes me want a George Costanza nap.

First, the worry.  Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard of Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease.  Nobody?  Me either, until yesterday.  Apparently, it’s going around the kids in Punkie’s room at day care.  Two kids are out today, and Punkie is just not himself.  I’m on the look out for SORES in his mouth and BLISTERS on his adorable dimpled hands and feet.  Sores and blisters.  On my baby. What the hell?!  I called his pediatrician’s office and they said it’s common and benign and I shouldn’t worry.  But…SORES AND BLISTERS ON MY BABY.  I’m going to find some time this afternoon to visit Punkie, before my performance review, and see how he’s doing.

Second, the emotion. Today is Maggie’s birthday.  Maggie was my best friend for 16 years – a yellow lab who held my heart in her paws.  She died last August and not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about her.  Today is her birthday and obviously, for the first time on 16 years, I’m not going to be getting her the usual birthday cheeseburger.  I know, I know…she’s a dog.  But she was incredibly important to me.  We went through a lot together – law school, bar exam, first job as a lawyer, moving, getting married, divorced, moving, getting married, and on and on.  She was my rock.

Third, the drama.  I am drama adverse – it freaks me the hell out.  Don’t run to me with your office politics and your “I dreamed you were mad at me” bullshit.  But, like so many other people, I have drama in my life that follows me wherever I go, without fail.  I don’t get along very well with my immediate family and that is the source of 98% of the drama in my life.  And today I am obsessing about it.  I’m not going to go into a lot of detail here, but will say that we’re having a big family get-together this weekend with my immediate family and my husband’s parents and that this has the potential to be a source of incredible drama.  By “incredible drama,” I mean a hydrogen bomb of drama dropped directly on my head.  But now I have a child and I don’t want him to grow up thinking that this is how things should be, or that his mother is a punching bag.   And I don’t want my husband’s family dragged into this stuff.  In addition to the feelings of drama dread, I am resentful that this is ruining my otherwise enjoyable long weekend.  I’ve been looking forward to this damn long weekend for months and now I am dreading it like a root canal.  And before you suggest that I find someone to work through this all with, please note that my therapist recently retired.

So, in summary:  Stress = parasite = no energy = George Castanza nap.

Conference Week at Day Care

The kind folks at day care sent home a note letting us know that they were doing teacher conferences this week for all the kids.  We were invited to schedule a conference with Punkie’s teacher.

Punkie is 5 months old, so I’m not entirely sure what we will talk about.  I mean, I don’t want to NOT go to the conference – I want to know everything about how Punkie is doing.  But, what are we going to talk about?

Why yes, Mrs. Punkie’s Mom, Punkie appears to like the color orange and the butterfly toy that goes “HONK” when it hits the floor.  He also poops a lot and dislikes napping.

Any suggestions for questions I should ask?

Also, as I discussed in a previous post, we’ve been ejected for illness.  So . . . I will need to find a baby sitter to watch Punkie while my husband and I go to day care.  Just take that in for a moment.

Day Care is a Cesspool of Germs and Viruses

About a week and a half ago, I wrote that day care is snotty.  HA! It’s worse than snotty.

Punkie is sick again.  Actually, that’s not entirely accurate because he never recovered 100% from the cold he developed on day 4 of day care.  Now, he has a fever.

Day care called me yesterday to let me know that Punkie had a fever over the maximum permitted threshold of 100 degrees and that I needed to come and get him right away.

I dropped everything and cancelled a couple of meetings and went to get him.  When I left day care with Punkie, I found a piece of paper in his bag that said (and I’m paraphrasing) that he was sent home for a fever and would not be welcome back until 24 hours after the fever went away without the help of medication.  So, if he magically recovered the same day, the earliest I could bring him back is Thursday.  More likely is that he would not go back until Friday or next week.

Okay… what do I do now?  I can’t bring a sick baby to work, so I need some kind of child care or I have to take time off from work.  I can see why it takes a village – someone has to be around when day care ejects the baby.

I brought Punkie to the pediatrician and she thinks that he got a virus on top of his cold.  The poor little guy was really miserable and I felt bad for him.  At its highest, his fever went to 101.8 and I’m not 100% sure why, which bothers me a lot.

He had never been sick before he started day care two and a half weeks ago.  He’s going to have the strongest immune system in history if he keeps this up.

He looks better this morning.  And, luckily, my husband was able to stay home with him today.


Take it Back

Last week, I wrote about Punkie’s first cold.  He still has it, and I am still suctioning snot from his nose at regular intervals.  Good times.

In that post, I said, “If I had the cold, I’d take as much Sudafed as allowed plus one and power through (not regular Sudafed, the good stuff you have to go to pharmacy counter and show your drivers’ license to buy).”

I take it back.  What I apparently meant is that was true, as in past tense.  I’m evolving here, dear blog readers.

What I’m saying is that I have the cold now too and I’m not going to take those pills.  I have the package of sinus decongestant pills in my hand – they expired in 2013.  I could work with that.

The active ingredient, pseudoephedrine, is what I lovingly refer to as the good stuff because, when I have a cold, it clears my sinus and keeps me awake so I can be productive at work.  I’m sure the guys on “Breaking Bad” call it by some kicky little nickname, like pseudazzle or something (actually, I think they just call it pseudo).

I did a Google search to see if I can take the pills while breastfeeding Punkie and the internet says that, while the pills won’t hurt Punkie directly, they may or may not reduce breast milk supply.*  It boils down to a cost/benefit analysis – do I make myself comfortable and productive and take the risk that Punkie will have less milk to drink tomorrow?  Nah.

Since I don’t have a blue bulb  with which to suction out my own snot, I’ll just tough it out.  (That was a joke – I don’t want you to send me a blue bulb sucker thing)

*I am not a doctor or any kind of medical professional. DO NOT RELY ON MY GOOGLING.


Day Care is Snotty

Punkie has been in day care for 4 full days now and he is already sick. He was congested yesterday and didn’t sleep well the night before because of congestion – he sounds like he’s snorting when he breathes. This morning, he started coughing.

This is officially his first cold. I hope it’s a cold, anyway.

I mentioned that he’s congested to his care giver and she said she has it and most of the kids have had it too. Everyone says this is par for the course with day care – they all get the same colds.

I expected to be more fazed or distressed when he got sick for the first time. Really, I’m more tired than anything, and I’m girding my loins against anticipated fussiness and more not sleeping. Work has been difficult this week, but I remind myself that things are always more difficult when you’re tired.

That’s not to say that I didn’t call my husband in the middle of the night to ask him how to do the saline sinus drop and suction thing that he was telling me about before he left for his trip and before Punkie got sick. My worst-case-scenario-generator was telling me that Punkie could suffocate if he doesn’t breath well in his crib. My rational brain kind of knew I was overreacting, but:

Ring, Ring

Hi sweetie, can you tell me how to do that saline thing you were talking about yesterday?

It’s midnight – is everyone okay?

Um, midnight you say? . . .

I called our pediatrician’s office this morning because I honestly don’t know what to do for a 4 ½ month old baby with a cold. If I had the cold, I’d take as much Sudafed as allowed plus one and power through (not regular Sudafed, the good stuff you have to go to pharmacy counter and show your drivers’ license to buy). Punkie isn’t going to be on board with that approach, I imagine.  I explained to the nurse that I don’t know anything about babies and that Punkie has been in day care for one hot minute but is now sick.

The nurse recommended that I do the following things:

  • use a cool vaporizer in Punkie’s room (not a warm one because someone can get burned);
  • take Punkie’s temperature and call them if it’s over 100.4 degrees (take the temp rectally, of course?) ;
  • elevate one end of Punkie’s mattress by putting a rolled up towel underneath one end (so he can breathe better while lying down – I’m sure he won’t just roll to the far end); and
  • do the saline thing that my husband was talking about, which is to put some drops of salt water in his nose and then suction with the bulbous blue thing the hospital sent us home with (hold on to your brain, Punkie, mommy is going to suction now).

What do you think of these recommendations? Any more thoughts?