I’ve heard a fair amount of the so-called mommy wars. Some people say there is a conflict between stay-at-home moms versus work-outside-the-home moms, but I’m not buying it.
We all do our best for our kid(s), for ourselves, for our loved ones. Who are you or I to second-guess that?
I think a big part of the so-called “conflict” is really just people reacting to that self-conscious feeling that you get when you know other people are judging you. This is really just insecurity, isn’t it? Maybe some people do judge us, but we have to let it go – there are assholes everywhere. Does the fact that someone is judging you change what’s best for you and your family?
Putting that aside, I am bothered by stupid people, like Gwyneth Paltrow, who talk about things they couldn’t possibly understand (http://www.eonline.com/news/525210/gwyneth-paltrow-s-post-split-plans-actress-reveals-she-s-taking-a-break-from-acting-to-focus-on-her-kids; http://time.com/93041/gwyneth-paltrow-mommy-wars/).
This really doesn’t help anyone. She’s a wealthy actress who was raised in privilege and who lives in a bubble. I’m sure she has her problems too, like everyone, but there is no way she could begin to know (A) what it’s like to work a day job and take care of a family, or (B) whether it’s easier or more difficult than what Gwyneth does.
Shut up, Gwyneth Paltrow.
Let’s learn a lesson from stupidity. You and I cannot fully understand the context within which another woman lives. You don’t know, and I don’t know. All we can do is respect each other enough to accept that we’re all trying to do the best we can for our families, the best way we know how.
As a feminist, I wonder how we’ll move forward if we let people convince us that we’re fighting each other. Honestly, I’m not even interested in explaining my choice to work outside the home here, or anywhere. It’s my prerogative and I’m doing it. If you start to feel all judge-y, just remind yourself that (i) I am doing my very best to make sure that my son has everything in life that he needs, including a mother who loves him very much, and (ii) my choices are exactly that – mine.
As a child of the 70’s and 80’s, I have the refrain of “Free to be . . . You and Me” running though my head. Let’s sing it together, people (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_26FOHoaC78).